Over the past three years, I diligently greeted the new year on my blog with a refreshing piece of entry that set off to another batch of humble ambitions and goals. The digital platform of blogs makes it tricky to visualize its “aging”; no wrinkles to count, no colors that fade. It’s just the number of archived links and its murky recollections. So I can’t exactly reflect to see how this blog has “grown over the years” blah blah etc. like we do for our lives. What would life be like if we couldn’t calculate age? If we looked the same at birth and death, what kind of effect would it have on making judgments? How interesting would that be?
All things aside, unlike the other years of my life, 2013 serves to be a bit more special. It’ll be a year full of many good changes in my life at work, play, and love. I can’t quite eloquently put into words about my anticipation and feelings but the most important thing is that my conscience doesn’t fall into insouciance no matter how exhausting or hellish or competitive things may make me feel. There’s a beastly difference between antipathy and apathy.
The world did not perish in 2012. As some put it, the Mayans may have simply ran out of resources to infinitely record the calendar (haha). But it was a year full of unpredictable turn of events; some bad, some worse. I didn’t think I had lost anything but I learned that I actually have close-to everything. For that I am humbled. Forget resolutions, to-do lists, and delusional promises. This year I hope to be healthier in the mind, to find peace closer to the soul, and to fine tune a life-long melody in my heart. If I find others in my life who’d like to do the same, I hope we take more advantages of days marked in red, so that our memories-in-the-making can empower our stressful schedules. And in the moments of solitary silence, I hope to discover more good and wholesome books.
I’ll leave you with what C Bukowski once said… and with that, cheers to a joyous new year for all.
If you’re going to try, go all the way. Otherwise, don’t even start. This could mean losing girl friends, wives, relatives, and maybe even your mind. It could mean not eating for three or four days. It could mean freezing on a park bench. It could mean jail. It could mean derision. It could mean mockery. Isolation. Isolation is the gift. All the other are a test of your endurance, of how much you really want to do it. And, you’ll do it, despite rejection and the worst odds. And it will be better than anything else you can imagine. If you’re going to try, go all the way. There is no other feeling like that. You will become alone with the gods, and the nights will flame with fire. You will ride life straight to perfect laughter. It’s the only good fight there is.