In my social profile somewhere I wrote that I have a knack for bargaining my way through almost everything. I don’t take no for an answer, at least on the first try. It’s always been like that. I didn’t think anybody would be better at it. Until I met the hubby. He has a knack for negotiating with the most logical, rational, step-by-step approach when it comes to making important decisions in life. I have always admired his perseverance and patience to take his time and think through every thing when it comes to negotiating. He’s an incredibly smart man. Good thing we’re stuck for life!
Anyhoo, I was going through his book list one day and found Fisher and Ury’s Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In. I was so excited to read this. Secretly, I thought I could top his nego skills before he could get his hands on the book. Much to my disappointment, all the new tricks I’ve picked up from the book is most likely my hubby’s old tricks. Quite interesting though. The authors are concise with their explanations. Easy read. And there are also case studies that follow the concepts outlined so that we can further understand and imagine it taking place in our lives. What do you think are the implications of “Correct me if I’m wrong”, “Let me get back to you”, or “It was a pleasure working with you”? The book also discusses how to approach situations when the “opponents” are unwilling to play the game.
Some key points to negotiating to yes include: 1) separating the people from the problem – it’s so easy for emotions and ego to get in the way, 2) focus on interests, not positions, 3) generate options for mutual gain, and lastly 4) insist on using objective criteria – fair standards, etc.
I read somewhere, really long time ago, “listen first to understand, then speak to be understood”. I think that is the best and unfailing way to deal with any kind of situation with any kind of relationship in life. And this book does a good job of outlining how to listen and speak.
dee’s recommendation: 3.5/5