This is my first ever holiday season without a vacation. The ends of Decembers on my calendar were always plastered with scribbles of plans to disembark from work or school. I was always going “someplace warm” or back home. Oh, how I helplessly wished they were one-way tickets. Well, now that I’m idle at work and without vacation days to spare I can joyously sit here and mock at the tradition and reflect on how speedy this year has passed.
I guess the most appropriate way to begin is to make some kind of new year’s resolution from a myriad of wishful thoughts. From the first few weeks of every year we struggle with our resolutions. At least I do. In fact, it is now culturally acceptable to not achieve any new year’s resolution because the challenges that we denied we would experience when initially making our lists are nearly impossible to defeat. And by challenges I mean breaking old habits or indolence. But we keep doing it. We keep making those darn lists. I’ve noticed that my new year’s resolutions were much more ambitious when I was younger: “exercise more”, “cut down on sugar”, “learn something new”, etc. But recently my lists have been narrowed down to being happy, healthy, and passionate in what I do. It’s less stressful. There’s less pressure. Maybe that’s just another way of saying that I’d like to avoid the guilt from the possibilities of not fulfilling my resolutions. So I began mine, which I’d like to refrain from disclosing publicly, a month early; let’s just say it’s been twenty days and the resolution is still accelerating towards a good ending. If I fail, I don’t have to necessarily admit that it was another new year’s failure. That’s how guilt eats you up. That’s how much we expect from ourselves. Because traditionally, that’s how seriously we fathom the concept of a brand new year. Everybody wants a clean slate, a new chance, a new chapter. Hm, how about a clean year’s ending? …Some kind of closure that brings everything to a complete circle. Old year’s wrap-up resolution. No? Okay.
At the end of the day it’s more important to know that I’ve done more good than bad, more right than wrong, and been happier than not. The transition from December 31 to January 1 is nothing but a new page in the calendar, but there’s always that spark of zeal to strive at the chance of living in a new opportunity. And we’re lucky if we can be persistent with preserving the feeling for another 364 more days… better yet, a lifetime. Anyway, whatever it is, I wish that everybody experiences that fleeting but intense transitioning feeling during the countdown this year. And that our new year’s resolutions are created after putting a good closure to and a big red ribbon on the past year. Happy holidays… and don’t forget to sit, relax, and read once in awhile! :)
